Category: Randoms

Maybe not the end of the year, maybe the end of the year, who can tell? This title is long. Suck my whatever.

Hello my dears… and if I don’t post again before Christmas or New Year or you’re something other than Christian or whatever the fuck is going on with you, I say, I say, anyway:

I have no idea what he is throwing up but it’s not the horns…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS (MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHERFUCKERS) and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk.

I’m back from my “super secret trip.” That trip was actually to Ecuador, to the Galapagos, to see some big ass tortoises and black death metal lizards that go diving! I am slowly starting to work on a video about my trip which will be on Youtube. I think part of it will be on “Might Be Tasty” and some of it on “Tek Dives”. I am still compartmentalizing my life because I am not sure people are really interested in my scuba diving- I know many are interested in my travels but my travel is changing as I start to get old and prepare to die and rot. I am not traveling to go to BJJ tournaments or learn Muay Thai- I am more focused on diving now and my bucket list before my body completely fails me so I know that to the two people still reading, what I do is very niche. But I also really don’t give a damn… if you don’t want to read it/watch it, truly you are missing out on some knowledge and experiences of the world and this is why you don’t have nice things. ;).

Back to that trip- it was financially stupid since I am not working but I NEEDED to do that. Mind you, it wasn’t as good as it could have been because duh, my head space isn’t there yet- I’ve been through a fuck ton of trauma this past year. But it was good because I made a new friend!! And I know that doesn’t sound very interesting but at my age, its hard to make friends, much less friends you can tell are going to be REAL FRIENDS. She’s from Spain, and she is hot as fuck (the men on the boat were being ridiculous) but she’s a good foil to me as she is light and sunshine to my darkness and moonlight. She’s a lot of fun and good people and I’m just happy I met her (though the English she is learning from me will qualify her as a sailor in no time. Though I did not teach her to say “Shut your fucking mouth” which she decided to announce at dinner one night. LOL. I had to say “I didn’t teach her that… not sure where this is coming from”. But she’s great and a decent diver- i.e. I wouldn’t mind diving with her. We’re already trying to figure out how to do another dive trip together next year. But she’s a nurse and I’m a miscreant or what I like to say “not unemployed, living a life leisure at the moment”. (My ass is broke, and I’m in big trouble but for once in my life, I need to put my mental health first so “C’EST LA VIE, LIVING LA VIDA LOCA, BLAH BLAH BLAH… shut my fucking mouth.)

In other news, I started back to BJJ though I am not rolling yet. Just trying to build the habit back of going. I WAS going to start back to the gym this week as well but I came back from Ecuador with an infection and severe vertigo so hitting the pool and weights this week I deemed not a wise idea. Saturday. I will go on Saturday as I am starting to feel better and my ear is finally clearing and I am less dizzy.

In other, other news… (drumroll please), I HIRED MY FIRST 1099 EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO WORK FOR HIM TO DO YET. (See above, living la vida local and I’m a dumbass). I hired him to backfill me when I am in Antarctica in Feb for any break/fix from my two clients, but I am also trying to throw something out into the world.. that I am SERIOUS (for real for reals) about getting my IT consulting business actually on its feet in 2023. Now I have someone who can do tech support when I am not available and I can try to focus on getting more business which is so fucking, hard, you have no idea. Mostly because I am horrible with networking because you know me- dry humor, blunt, sardonic, all the things you love doesn’t go very well for cold contacts, ya know? Still I am excited that I officially hired a contractor and that kinda drives me to look for more work so I can feel all special and say “yeah, I have people… ” God(dess) help me on this.

In other, other, other news… this summer I will also be working part-time as a divemaster on select weekends in the great lakes. I’m doing it to get boat crew hours so that eventually I can get my maritime captain rating because: why the fuck not?

Finally (I swear, this is finally today), I am trying to figure out how I can get my Scuba Instructor rating AND make a trip to go cave diving in France this summer… mostly because I want to see caves somewhere else since I have the training and also because it is a good excuse to make a stop in Barcelona to visit my new friend for a day or two on the way back. As usual, the problem is money.

I have got to hustle and figure this out because the way things have been going hasn’t been working for me. I gotta bring the bills in on my terms in 2023. From my fingers to God(dess)’s RSS feed. Please. I need this.

Okay, I’m done. I need to work on the Ecuador stuff and do some final shit for Antarctica planning. As down on myself as I get, c’mon… I still do some cool ass shit. I mean, I get out there and I “do the things”. I do what most people don’t/won’t. Need to plan some more of that. That’s what heals my heart.

Another sign of Global Climate Change

Storms are nothing new; however, the severity of storms is increasing, which is directly correlated to Global Climate change. What people fail to realize is that this also affects air travel. More instances of severe turbulence have hit passenger aircraft over the past few years. This is just the beginning of it:

I believe the day after, this happened on a flight from Brazil to Dallas.

I travel A LOT. I think about this. No planes have been lost due to server turbulence yet… but we haven’t had the types of turbulence we seem to be getting lately.

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Starting tomorrow, 3 months:

-Get my health back

-Get unfinished business completed.

I am trying to pack up for a trip that I wanted to be packed up for completely tonight with the apartment totally clean but Rackspace decided to throw up which threw me off since I had to help the few customers I have migrated so I am behind on stuff I needed to do by two days. I hate this because I said I was going to stop packing at the last moment- I always mean to not do it, then something ALWAYS gets in the way that I must address. Oh well.

At least tonight, the gi will be packed and ready for when I return. Hoping to be able to start out with lifting/swimming 3x a week and then doing BJJ 2x a week until I see if I can handle any of this again.

I have 3 months (really 3.5 but whatever) to figure everything out and try to get back to MY base.

Wish me luck.

I need:

-Customers (more than anything I need these).

-Freedom to live by my rules.

-Breathing room.

For the next two weeks, I am on a detox from everything, when I return, then, the work starts in earnest.

Refocusing my passions… (this post isn’t about penis).

So I am getting a little excited about the thing that I am working on. Sometimes you have to take a step back to appreciate what you’ve done. Mind you, I’m sure someone could do way better than I could but for what I could do, it’s looking pretty slick. Not a new design or anything like that, but how I am going about this is pretty cool (I think). Once I unleash it, I will absolutely welcome constructive criticism. I think I will focus on this and get it mostly buttoned up then return to getting Might Be Tasty (Tekwh0re) fixed up a bit as it is a sister site. Then I will go back to Empire and Aces though my ideas there are a little dry at the moment. I know that Might Be Tasty and this other site MUST be done/updated before Jan 1st.

I think I will be out of my job by Jan 1st and have more time then but it’s a combo of Antarctica prep and then sort of putting feelers out for new projects/work at the same time. Right now I am also trying to sort out exactly how much communication I have on the boat. I have a Zoleo but I see now it’s not going to do what I want it to do. I really wanted to leave a breadcrumb every day on the website map so you could see where the boat is but it won’t do that except with friends and… family… both of which, sadly, I do not have. I can send basic messages from the expedition boat for a cost so in theory, I could post to my blogs while on the trip, but they would have zero pictures or videos while I am in the Southern Ocean/Antarctica. This is why I am debating on doing a newsletter while I am gone- I believe I can get that typed up and out (still without pictures) and sent out via the Sat link on the boat. By the end of this week, I will have that figured out this is my goal. Today, I am just organizing my notes in OneNote… though I am thinking also about moving to another organization app. I always bring a tablet in a rugged case when I go diving to transfer my dive logs too as well as to take and keep notes. It occurred to me this morning that I needed to really organize and document all this Antarctica shit because I absolutely will not have access to the cloud and will need this locally on my tablet and laptops so I am trying to set that up so that if I have a question about something, BOOM- there it is in OneNote in a local copy.

Next week is my birthday/Thanksgiving. Its going to be really sad. Thinking about it right now is making me cry, actually. I think I am going to make myself some birthday cupcakes and make Mongolian beef for my birthday/thanksgiving dinner. Also, work on new t-shirt designs and get my Patreon finalized for making active. Shit- just remembered that I am going diving at a pool on Black Friday… that will kill one day of work towards the websites and shit. Oh well.

I swear to you, that Might Be Taty will be active again… as I said, this blog is for more personal stuff… and political and more of controversial stuff. I am thinking that anything that is really spicy I’ll move to Patreon. I need the money, I need to worry about how to monetize, and talking about cock and using the word “fuck” randomly isn’t conducive to making money. I WILL get this all worked out by the end of the year so that all I need to worry about starting Jan is producing content and looking for work. But between now and then will be tough.

I still miss my mom.

Yeah.

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Not dead… just still going through my things… Mostly really busy.

Work is… absolute shit and I will leave it at that. Well, not really. since my mom died and well (this will be news to you) I disowned/was disowned by my father (not sure if I will tell this story yet or if it will come out when I am ready to talk in detail about the death of my mother. As disrespectful of me as he has been, my kind heart sorta wants him to kick off before I say anything. On the other hand, while my mom was dying in her house, he was angry with me and my dying mother who couldn’t talk and decided to say to both of us “Guess I’ll go back to my room and listen to Fox News then” and proceeded to go to his room and blast Hannity. Look nobody wants to listen to that shit while they are dying. He also tried to tell me how great Kanye and Candice Owen are and how racism isn’t really real. Oh, and he also called _ME_ a racist… so yeah.. fuck him… this is only the tip of the iceberg with that man)…

What was I saying? Oh yeah, so since my mom died and I have no father, I am 100% on my own now- it’s terribly sad, and now I realize somewhat freeing. I am so sick of what I have been doing for going on 47 years of my life now (hey, my birthday is on the 23rd. Wanna get me something? No? That’s okay, my mom is the only one who has ever gotten me something over the last years and now she is dead so I won’t be getting shit on my birthday anymore.) I don’t want to do what I do anymore. I mean I do, but I don’t. In the new year, it’s looking 99% sure I will be without a job, if not sooner. I’m still going to Antarctica hell or high water… and I am trying to work on a bunch of little businesses. If anyone still gives an ounce, I will definitely need a lot of help coming in the new year. There will be a lot more posting going on.. I’l clue you into what websites you might want to watch. I think keeping my life compartmentalized works best for me, even if I am starting to finally shed my corporate side more and more.

There will be a patron. There will be a GoFundMe. I ain’t too proud to beg anymore. I want to have the last half of my life be happier and better than the first part. I absolutely am not in a position to do that right now… So much stuff in the background wiped me out financially last year… And without going into details, I had been saving and saving and saving so I could do what I am about to do with now NO money. But I got wiped out… because of my shitty fucking luck.

Fuck me.

Actually, don’t. My ass is raw enough as it is and I don’t like it.

Believe it or not, I’m starting to try to fight back again. She’s in there, somewhere, still… and she’s trying to fight back but man, it’s a real uphill battle. I spend moments where I end up crying still because I miss my mom. I have moments when I just look out the window and realize that I really am truly just… alone. More than I ever have been.

I miss my mom. You’re gonna get sick of me saying this, but I do. She and I had a lot of issues in the end but she was my mom. She loved me more than anything. I’m sure she still does wherever she is. I love her too.

Grief is a strange thing.

Anyway, a brief update. I have a lot to do today. Everything right now is focused on getting me where I need to be when I leave for Antarctica in Feb of 2023. You’re gonna wanna keep your eyes on me. Watch out for my Instagram. Watch out here… all my websites are going to start popping again in the New Year… and if you like my travel stories, those will start next year (fingers crossed).

Hey, if someone is feeling SUPER GENEROUS, I NEED this camera before Jan 15th. I will take a used one that works.

(Hey, if you don’t ask, you never even get a shot to see if the world is open.)

No, I am fucking serious… I am a broken (am I really?) mess who is trying her best to put herself back together and finish off this life strong. Help? I need help. C’mon… I know I am old and ugly now but I still deserve a fan club. I’m still one of the most amazing women you will ever know/observe. No hyperbole, just facts.

Okay, errands. Laters.