I shared a rather personal story about a memory of Prince I had from my grade school days on twitter in response to the conversation going on about his death yesterday. I thought I would share another one from when I was a DJ up on Rush and Division in Chicago when I was an adult. It seems rather round about but bare with me here:

I used to work at several bars up in what is known now as “The Viagra Triangle” as a bouncer/DJ. How I become a female bouncer up there is another story for another time but yeah, I bounced and I wanted that extra dollar an hour so I was a DJ as well.

I actually was a very good DJ.

I knew music, I knew people, and I knew how to control a room.

I had several “nights” that were mine up there and I had a little following as well. It was kinda cute… Half of it was because I played good music and the other half was my witty/assholish commentary on the mic. I did three nights a week at several clubs and if there was a problem with “clientele” I would get brought in to DJ because I ignored threats when I was spinning. My nights were a Punk Rock night Tuesdays, Thurs I did an 80’s night and Friday/Sat I would do dance music, varying slightly depending on which club/bar I was working that night. My 80’s night became very popular so they moved me to Friday Night at this one place. It was a long ass shift… I started at 7 PM, was done at 4 AM. I wasn’t allowed to start drinking until after midnight unless the manager saw that I was having more than the usual assholes I was dealing with in the DJ booth. On that Friday night, I realized it was good to have a routine so that people kinda knew when was a good time to get a drink (and leave me the fuck alone). There were two things you knew I was going to do on an 80’s night. I’d play some Billy Idol and it would be two for one shots and I’d dance crazy in the booth… And you knew sometime around midnight, I was going to take a break, get my shot, go to the bathroom. The tradition was that I always played all 12 mins of “A Love Bizzare” by Shiela E. As soon as that came on, people would start dancing stupid and I could slip out the booth and take a break.

“A Love Bizarre” was written by Prince.

Once we were into the last three mins, I’d make my way back to the booth, get my headphones back on and I always had a Prince song queued up to rock right into “A Love Bizarre”. It never was the same song… Sometimes it was “Controversy” or “Baby I’m a Star”. You never knew what I would pull to go into, but it was always Prince and it always kept the room happy and slippery and sexy.

Anyway, I was looking for “A Love Bizarre” today and when I looked, you CANNOT get it on MP3 or CD… it’s only on vinyl! Which made me want to make this post… I found a copy online- cheap. Right now it seems like everyone is buying up Prince Albums so they’re going for like $150+ dollars and reissues are sold out right now. A lot of that has to do with how Prince managed his back catalog.

Anyway… here is the FULL 12 mins… as I say it should be played… because the beat is just that good…

I’d embed some Prince too- but he wouldn’t have liked that. He would have preferred if you went out and bought his music. And you really should. Need too.

I have no idea who made this Prince through the years collage, but it bears sharing.

RIP Prince. This one hurts.








Easy (Protein) Pancakes…

Thought I would share this because I know I have one or two readers trying to avoid gluten. These just happen to be a protein pancake that I make to curb a sweet tooth:

2 ripe bananas
4 eggs
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1/2 cup of oat flour
Dash of cinnamon.
Dash of Vanilla
Blueberries (optional)
Coconut oil


In blender, mix bananas and eggs until smooth. Don’t let eggs get too frothy- point is to mush bananas into liquid.

In another bowl, mix together your protein powder, oat flour and cinnamon. Pour banana/egg mixure into bowl and mixed until combined. Dash of vanilla comes in at this time. If you like, you can toss in a handful of blueberries now for anti-oxidant goodness. Fresh work better as far as cooking evenness than frozen but I use what I have on hand.

Heat coconut oil in skillet (you want the properties of the coconut oil… I don’t recommend anything else because these are kinda “treat” anyway. Try to make it more healthy!) Pour drip in scoopfuls of the pancake batter. Watch for bubbles to form in your pancake and when they do, FLIP!

I eat these plain.. but I suppose you could make a simple compote out of the blueberries or drizzle with honey or whatever, but they are plenty sweet enough without!


Unfuck… fuck.

I’ve been busy organizing and “unfucking” while I am between jobs.  Been blogging- but to a private goals based blog.  No, don’t ask for that, not going to give it to you.

I am on day 59 of a 60 day fitness challenge however.  The hard part of it will start next week so maybe I’ll update you all about that then.

Going to share this photo here as well as that I think it sums me up perfectly. There is a smidgen of that old school sex, you can see a guitar and speaker so love of music, you can see video games, a bunch of Wonder Woman statues, an animal skull, and swords… and if you look, the “strings” of the sword aren’t neat.. which means I must actively use it and know how. And then there is some katakana someone gifted me with. It says Shoshin. Zen word meaning the beginners mind. A always ready to learn attitude. Sprit of truth, honesty and openness. The will to achieve something and readiness to learn.

not obvious

Anyway, just wanted to say hello. I’m also obsessed with this song this morning.  Ignore the stupid video, just enjoy the music and the lyrics.  And if EDM isn’t your thing, whatever.  I’m sure I’ll post some Indie or New Wave or Punk eventually.  One thing you cans definitely say is that I am “diverse”.


War and Peace: Or a note from the Commander-General.

At some point I realized I enjoyed the war far more than the peace because the war gave me something to do.  It wasn’t so much a sense of purpose but rather that its where I excelled and what I was made for.  Peace is for lovers and I am anything but lovable.  I’m passionate and detached at the same time.  I don’t understand fake words and fake sentiments because that’s not what comes from me.  So times of peace are always hard because it more shows the vast differences between how I see the world and how the world sees me.

I told someone I cared about once that I was made the way I am because you need people like me to protect everyone else. Being full of fire and focused anger and determination and nails and that fight, fight, fight, trigger instead of the flight is what makes people like me stand up during crazy and impossible situations.  Is it because we have nothing, no family, no lovers, no ties, just that baseline seeing things for what they are that we just don’t give a fuck about our lives?  So we offer it up to people who know will be missed by others?  Do we do it because deep down, we know we’re the ones that must?  Do we do it for the puffing of egos and great bar stories later?  Or do we do it because we’re just plain stupid?

All I know is I will stand where others will not.  The majority of the time I stand alone, though support is “whispered” in my ear because fuck, what would be though of YOU if people knew you stood behind ME?  I’m the difficult one, the vocal one, the combative one, the cold one, the heartless one.

If you only knew the truth.  And maybe that’s the ultimate truth of all of us who are like the we that we are:

We do it because of a greater love.  We put ourselves on the line, because of love.  But we’ll never admit that love because it doesn’t really mesh with the now narrative we have to live up to that other created for us.

So perhaps we do the crazy things because of ultimate love for our fellow man, fellow creature, the earth, the universe and what have you.  But War keeps us busy and drowns out the unbearable silences of peace where we are reminded that our love for the world isn’t returned.

I don’t know how to answer this delemia besides some of us are just made that way.  We’re made to war barbecue other people can’t.  I can only speak for myself but in return, I never have issues sleeping or looking myself in the mirror wondering if I did the right thing that day.  I went to war for somebody or some idea and though I’m tired, often beaten up, I can rest knowing from a moral standpoint, I did the right thing.  I’d like to think that’s what all of us get who are made this way.  We get to sleep at night.

But don’t think it doesn’t come at a cost.  We just don’t get to share that.