This song has been playing on repeat in my headphones. Florence and The Machine can do no wrong. My ex turned me on to her. One of the best things he ever did.
I am trying to rebuild myself, my house, my kingdom and my legacy. From sand… from so much fucking sand.
I forget WHO I am all the time because who I am is bigger than even I can understand… and it doesn’t mesh because I would think that things would have been better by now and I would be sitting in my strengths instead of trying to rebuild yet again… Because just when I think I am getting to where I think I am safe and secure, people kick my castle down again. But maybe that’s just it… I burn, I rise, I burn, I rise. This time has just been really fucking hard (impossible).
I’m praying that my luck changes going into 2024. It’s time… It’s time for me to have a good run again.
Along those lines, I’ve been productive the last few days which I hadn’t been in awhile. That’s 100% because I finally had some recruiters call me about jobs, which gave me hope, which gave me some fire.
God(dess) give me one good final run. I’m terrified because everything the market says is that there will be more layoffs next year and that means even less jobs with even more people fighting over them.
Random thought: I say people don’t care. I think people don’t care to help me but there are a lot of people who care. There are just more people who care to see how the story ends. I make good reality TV viewing.